{"id":1653,"date":"2009-08-14T14:05:18","date_gmt":"2009-08-14T18:05:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mouthpiecesports.com\/soxblog\/?p=780"},"modified":"2009-10-16T20:56:59","modified_gmt":"2009-10-17T01:56:59","slug":"true-death-in-oaksterdam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/1653\/true-death-in-oaksterdam","title":{"rendered":"True Death In Oaksterdam"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Sox, as our cold sweats and waking nightmares have reminded us, square off this weekend against the hilariously bad Oakland Athletics in their hilariously bad ballpark in their not-so-hilariously tough<\/a> city.<\/p>\n

But why, the casual observer might ask, would a recently-upgraded contender such as the White Sox have any reason to fear the lowly last-place A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s? A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fans don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bring shanks<\/a> and chain mail<\/a> to games like their football-loving brethren, and the team itself hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really resembled a legitimate ballclub since 2006. To look at their 2009 club is to look at a team that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stand a chance against anyone, one whose best starting pitcher hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t made enough starts to be taken seriously and whose best hitter is currently employed elsewhere and destroying<\/a> the National League Central. They are strong against exactly three of the 18 teams they have faced. The Orioles; the Royals; the White Sox. This weekend cannot end well. Or can it?<\/p>\n

No, probably not.<\/p>\n

Scenario I: The A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sweep the series.<\/strong>
\nWhile not likely, history suggests it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also not impossible. Anybody remember this past June\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s four-game<\/a> South<\/a> Side<\/a> disaster<\/a>? Or, for that matter, everything that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s happened in the past eight years? Even if the A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t such a hopelessly lost in such a terribly confused we still can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t laugh this one off, and joyless return flights to Oakland are the first step towards a six-week death spiral.<\/p>\n

Scenario II: The A\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s take two of three.<\/strong>
\nThis is easily the worst possible outcome, if only for the simple reason that while both teams would be proven weak enough to lose to each other, only the Sox would be weak enough to lose twice. To the A’s. Did I mention the A’s are lousy? They’re lousy.<\/p>\n

Scenario III: The Sox take two of three.<\/strong>
\nOnly slightly less lame than giving up two. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s true that a win is a win, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also true that good teams feast on bad ones. Winning two games against Oakland would be nice, but you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re supposed<\/em> to win two games against Oakland. Hollow victories are not the foundation upon which to build a dynasty.<\/p>\n

Scenario IV: The Sox sweep the Athletics.<\/strong>
\nOf course they will. Did you ever doubt them? Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t doubt them! Cast your apprehensions aside and make way for the Team of Destiny.<\/p>\n

Team of Destiny!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The immediate future just got a lot shankier. Don’t forget your chain mail.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[67],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1653"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1653"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1653\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1786,"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1653\/revisions\/1786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1653"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1653"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sox35th.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1653"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}