The Twins sit a mere half a game back, a no-name lefty pitcher shut down the Sox and the spectre of total hometown shaming looms over the coming weekend. What’s a Sox fan to do? Look for a guiding light in others who’ve left the City of Angels en route to greatness, that’s what:
- Metallica, rock band. In 1983, on the strength of the Power Metal demo, the nascent metal band moved to San Francisco without any connections but a young bass player willing to join their outfit should they move. The result? Four (arguably five) consecutive classic albums, 57 million records sold in the United States alone, and total authority over a global army of wildly devoted fans.
- Tyra Banks, supermodel turned media mogul. Left L.A. for New York to pursue modeling career; later dated director John Singleton, Kings forward Chris Webber, Grammy-winner Seal, and some other guy. Won a Daytime Emmy for The Tyra Banks Show.
- Paul Pierce, basketball player. Drafted 10th overall by the Boston Celtics in 1998, later acted as one-third of possibly the best front three ever assembled on an NBA team and helped lead the Celtics to the single greatest turnaround in sports history. Currently resides in Massachusetts.
- Andrew W.K., musician/performance artist. Relocated to Michigan in youth, then New York City as an adult. Single-handedly revitalized “party rock” genre with 2002’s I Get Wet. Host of numerous shows on cable television shows and guest star of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. May not actually exist.
- Tony Gwynn, baseball player. Drafted by the just-down-the-interstate Padres and, well, you know the rest.
Keep hope alive, Sox fans. If an overweight Hall of Famer, alleged backstabbing shrew and sellout metal band can’t save us, nothing can. Especially against another no-name lefty.