With the All-Star Game out of the way (and did you see Albert Pujols’ swing? Ruined! Just as we predicted!), it’s time to get down to the more serious business of gazing into the Crystal Mouthpiece at what lies ahead for the Good Guys, and all signs say it’s not going to be pretty.

Remember all those Cleveland-KC-Cleveland series stacked up against each other? Remember the drive-by the Sox pulled on the visiting Pirates? Those days, it seems, are gone, as the Sox are looking at 15 games against the class of the AL East and another 27 games against nominal division challengers Detroit and Minnesota.

Anyone can shrug their shoulders and say a division as lame as this can be won by a Sox team that fires on all cylinders, and this is true. But anyone remotely aware of the league surrounding the Central knows that being the least of five losers is not a recipe for extended postseason success (remember last year?). What the Sox need, then, is a huge change in direction. Something psychotic. Something earth-shattering. Something that says “This Team Plans To Go All The Way,” but which also leaves it up to us to determine whether that’s all the way to the top or all the way to the bottom.

OPTION A: Trade the farm for Roy Halladay. Seriously. So the Peavy thing didn’t happen, but you know what? Roy Halladay is a better pitcher AND on the hook for less AND, unlike the man from San Diego, has proven an almost Buehrle-esque durability. The $15.75MM he’s owed next year can be scrounged up through some clever maneuvering, and at this point in his career it’s almost impossible to argue a four- or five-year deal would be stupid to offer. Even better, picking up a legitimate ace ought to get the kids out to the ballpark. You know, for support and all.
OPTION B: Trade everyone for everything. In 1997, the Sox trailed a superior team by just as many games and we all know how they dealt with that, and we all know how that indirectly led to both the 2000 division crown (by way of Keith Foulke) and the 2005 World Series (by way of Neal Cotts). Dismantling the club could obviously reap great benefits in 2012 and 2017.

OPTION C: Forfeit every home game in advance. If the Sox draw fewer than 1.5 million to the ballpark, rent for the season comes out to nothing. With the $1.24 million they save, the team could invest in a grindy new upgrade for the bullpen, outfield, infield, bench or parking lot – as well as save the humiliation of a crushing first-round defeat. The South Siders have 1.1 million through the turnstiles this season already, putting the club perilously close to having to pack it in or, even better, actually building a team people want to pay money to see.