Bold Predictions: The Lesser of Two Extremes Edition

Remember the last time these two teams played? Man, that was awesome. Remember the other 18 times those two faced each other before that? Not so much. A series win isn’t impossible, but we’ll keep our expectations manageable.

Oh, Hello Judas. Nice to See You: Joe Crede sports a career .257 average on the South Side. Jose Contreras and Bartolo Colon are, by most accounts, the greatest 4-5 punch in the history of sports. Smart money says Benedict reaches base at least 6 of 8 times before collapsing his spine watching Bartolo Colon toss a 3-0 curveball into section 126.

We’re Talking About Setting the Tone Here, Man: The Twins, the scrappy and youthful squad of last year, sport an even scrappier and slightly younger squad since that awesome game last October. The Sox, the old and slow one, are by most accounts older and slower. Watch for the Twins to laugh not just at the arm of A.J. Pierzynski, but also those of Jermaine Dye and Carlos Quentin. This is where the Sox’ emphasis on fielding a strong defensive team will pay off, as the cannon and sharp routes of Brian Anderson will surely keep Gardenhire’s strategy in che. . . wait, Dewayne Wise is what?

At Least Two of These Can’t Go On Forever: Anderson. Betemit. Ramirez. Wise. Four baseball players. Zero hits. Zero walks. Zero total bases. Who claws their way on base first?

Outlook: Kind of hazy. Twins take two of three, but look for double-digits by the Sox at least once.