The Sox today, finally, acknowledged what we’ve all sort of known all along: Andruw Jones, Omar Vizquel and Mark Kotsay are all just POWDERKEGS, waiting to explOOOOOOOODE all over the American League! Mega-platoon! Wrecking ball city! Your team has one DH, our team has THREE! Battalion of Bash! Army of Awesome! Team of Destiny!

So with the team poised to REVOLUTIONIZE American League roster-building, what does the future hold? The 35th Street 8-ball says “Outlook not so good.”

Carlos Quentin, forced to play in the field, gets hurt and missed a minimum of 20 games due specifically to injury. Past performance, future results, et cetera. So there’s that to look forward to.

Andruw Jones does not hit well in positions of any importance. In 2008, Jones’ posted line in the cleanup spot was .000/.000/.000. In 2009, as the Rangers’ designated hitter, he elevated this to .215/.331/.459. Elevated. At this point in his career, Andruw Jones, surrounded by a monstrous lineup playing in an extremely hitter-friendly park, can at best become Jayson Nix. But with power. Until he gets hurt. And the Sox have no such monstrous lineup.

Omar Vizquel will not have a significantly better season at age 43 than he did at age 42. Sorry, that’s just not how it works anymore.

Mark Kotsay will have a worse season than the very Brian Anderson he was traded for. Just a hunch. Anderson has nothing to lose in Kansas City and Kotsay, when not acting as DH, has to fill in for the full-time air strike in right or at first. Anderson’s .255/.335/.400 will look pretty good in comparison.

Paul Konerko trade rumors start flying in May. Someone’s going to need him. I’m not saying he leaves Chicago; I’m just saying others will be penciling in his itinerary for him.

We will pine for the days of the South Side softball attack. Oh wait! No we won’t, because Andruw Jones and Mark Kotsay are all the firepower anyone needs. Anyone! Playoffs! Team of Destiny!