The 35th Street Review

Hype and hyperbole in the form of staggered heavy metal and awkward front office transactions. Part one in a series.

There’s a little town just beneath the floodline that needs somebody with the right style.

The more things change, the more they don’t actually change all that much.

Up is down, left is right and Kyle Lohse is going to have a season for the ages.

Live arms, dead hope, empty promises and a whole field of unanswerable questions. Play ball!

It’s about as far from objective journalism as it gets, but you have to chuckle a bit at Don Cooper’s latest statements on the state of the relief corps:

“They haven’t had a good spring,” Cooper said. “They haven’t shown us the things we need to see for us to feel very comfortable right now.”

Now, we’ll pass on the opportunity to pick on the likes of Dewon Day and Gavin Floyd, when they’re down, but the article also reveals a more telling (if not more alarming) piece of news:

Cooper rattled off Mark Buehrle, Javier Vazquez, John Danks, Matt Thornton, Tomo Ohka, Scott Linebrink, Octavio Dotel, Bobby Jenks and a handful of names who have a ticket to Chicago assured. They’ve done well.

You read that right, folks: new acquisition Tomo Ohka is the guarantee of middle relief. Tomo Ohka, who as a reliever hasn’t seen an ERA under 4 since 2004. Tomo Ohka, who injuries have kept under 100 innings as a starter since 2005. Tomo Ohka, whose career performance most closely puts him in line with pitching luminaries Brian Lawrence, Carl Pavano and Kris Benson. And oh, what a season this is already shaping up to be.

Looking back at the season that was. Next year can’t start soon enough.

Say hello and wave sayonara to another South Side icon.