Category Archives: Features

The Thing About Ozzie & Lou

I’ve never worked for Lou Piniella and neither have you. Perhaps Bobby Ayala is just really, really, upset.

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The White Sox Enemies List: Harry Caray

This series addresses the matter of how we can maximize the fact of our incumbency in dealing with persons known to be active in their opposition to our Ballclub.

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The Way It Actually Happened Is For the Birds

Fact-checking Hawk (again). Asking “what” is pointless, but asking “when” can sometimes be beautiful.

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The Marginally Lesser of Two Different Evils

Asking the important questions, like: when is it okay to cheer for Satan?

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Sammy Sosa Owes Us All A Big Apology

Waiting until 1994 to start doing steroids – how dare you? [Mouthpiece Sports]

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Sammy Sosa and the Thing That Never Was

Taking a look at the mind-blowing season that never was.

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Historic Wrigley Field

At the dawn of this year’s installment of the civil war, we present a few words on the city’s other, less-accomplished baseball team.

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In a Brew Country

So take that James Baldwin jersey out of here; it doesn’t fit you.

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The Decade of Paulie

Be careful what you wished for three years ago.

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Paging Carl Wollarski

A team divided cannot stand, unless that division includes cutting off the dead parts.

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Counterparts

Better the devil you bro than the devil you don’t want playing first ever again. Actually, not really.

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Yet Another Excellent Player Says No To Sox

Roy Oswalt is the new Jake Peavy, Alex Rodriguez, Nomar Garciaparra and Torii Hunter. Quite a team they’re being refused by, isn’t it?

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Bold Predictions: Your Sweeps Will Mean Nothing!

Q: What’s the difference between May in Chicago and September in Kansas City? A: Six pounds of ribs.

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Injured or Injury-Prone?

What do you call a player who’s always hurt and usually producing less than he’s capable of?

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54-40 or Fight!

Jayson Nix needs us as much as we need Jayson Nix.

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If They Play .500 Ball…

Just kidding: they won’t. But they might! And so might everyone else!

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  • "No one had to tell me I was never going to be a home run hitter. I was hitting the same ball as the rest of the players, but when the big guys cracked one, it went out of the park. Mine went out of the infield."
    - Nelie Fox, 1965